Here we are, yet another season is at a close. It was a banner year for big-name hits, almost stunning. You know when you watch those Obit Roundups at the end of the year? Well this one was a DOOZY.

2012 started off like gangbusters, with eventual Champ MJ garnering the pool's first two hits right off the bat in January. Your humble but lovable webmistress E-B quickly caught up to him by mid-February but then kinda fizzled out the rest of the year, booo-urns. Our first double-header came on April 1st...April Fools! But no really it did happen. And again on May 20th we had another, this one with the great Robin Gibb (loved him) sharing the spotlight with the reviled Ali al-Megrahi (gross). As we came to the mid-year point, June went out with a whimper with only 5 hits all month, but July came on strong with not one but TWO double-header days, and Royal was part of each one. WOW.

August would not be outdone and an amazing TEN hits were recorded that month, beating out July's impressive 8 smackers. And add another couple double-headers to that count too. While Royal had not two but THREE hits from mid-July to early August, Edit and STAB each had two of those August hits which brought them all in contention for the Minor's lead. The September Slump kicked in with only a few hits, October only managed to scrimp together four hits, but MJ killed it with a couple hits in October alone. Fire had an impressive two back-to-back hits in late October/early November.

While November brought in five ringy-dingies, December started off with a coolio double-header (our first since August) with DAAS and MJ sharing the kudos on 12/5. Nice jerb! Fire has the honor of scoring the final hit of the year on 12/30 to close it out.

Confabulations to repeat Major League Champ MJ with EIGHT AWESOME HITS! Placing second is 2011 Minors Champ and veteran player Drunken Skunken with 6 hits, followed by yours truly with 5 hits, then Mr. 50s with 4 smackers, and the lovely Luxury Woman rounds out the Majors with 3 hits.

Congrats also go out to Minor League Champ "STAB-in-the-DARK" for his victory with FOUR AMAZIN' SMACKERS! He'll join us in the Majors for 2013. Well done! He squeaks out a win over second place finisher and newcomer to watch "Let's have more Royal Funerals", also finishing with 4 groovy hits. Longtime player "Fireball" comes in third place with three hits, and "Captain Hemlock" rounds out the top four also with three smackeroos.

It's been a fabulous year - our thanks to all for playing and we hope to see you all in 2013. Total Number of Hits: 59, wow. As always, check out the Rules page for more info about taking a dip in the pool. Cheers!


The 2012 Cast of Players:

The Hits:

The Major Leagues:
MJ = MJ
E = E-Brake
WARD = Mr. 50s
LUX = The Luxury Woman
DAAS = DrunkAsASkunk

The Minor Leagues:
SPIN = Spinzo
NICK = NecroNick
HEM = Captain Hemlock
ZIP = Zipper Lips
H2CO = The Embalmer
FOTO = Fotojrn
EDIT = Editer43
YKEWCE = YouKillEmWeChillEm
RIG = Rigor Mortis Mairi
ROYAL = Let's have more Royal Funerals
STAB = STAB-in-the-DARK
MD = Master Dark
GSG = Go See God
GRODY = 80s Avenger
FIRE = Fireball
GRIM = Grim McGraw
LADYK = Lady Karaoke
METAL = Metalicidal
RUSSIA = In Soviet Russia List Makes You!
SHAUN = Shaun Of The (Nearly) Dead
PALL = Vincent Pall
MIL = Me & My Mother-in-Law
3sCO = Jack Tripper
CARR = Carrie's Crashers
GLEEK = Gleekcub

******

Bill Janklow (ex-Gov) - MJ (01/12)
Etta James (Singer) - MJ (01/20)
Joe Paterno (College Football) - E (01/22)
Kevin White (Frmr Mayor of Boston) - GSG (01/27)
Angelo Dundee (Boxing) - MD (02/01)
Gary Carter (Baseball) - E (02/16)
John Demjanjuk (Nazi war criminal) - FOTO (03/17)
Earl Scruggs (Musician) - E (03/28)
Leila Denmark (Author) - FIRE (04/01)
Miguel de la Madrid (Frmr Mexican President) - HEM (04/01)
Mike Wallace (TV newsman) - MJ (04/07)
Jonathan Frid (Actor) - LADYK (04/14)
David Peat (Film-maker) - DAAS (04/16)
Dick Clark (TV Host) - LUX (04/18)
Edward Watson Short (Baron) - DAAS (05/04)
Vidal Sassoon (Shampoo Guy) - 3sCO (05/09)
Robin Gibb (Singer) - E (05/20)
Ali al-Megrahi (Pan Am Bomber) - DAAS (05/20)
Ray Bradbury (Sci-Fi writer) - LUX (06/05)
Frank Cady (Actor) - WARD (06/08)
Ann Rutherford (Actress) - GRODY (06/11)
Leroy Neiman (Artist) - MD (06/20)
Yitzhak Shamir (Frmr Israeli PM) - DAAS (06/30)
Andy Griffith (Actor) - WARD (07/03)
Ernest Borgnine (Actor) - DAAS (07/08)
Celeste Holm (Actress) - LUX (07/15)
William Asher (TV Producer) - E (07/16)
Kitty Wells (Singer) - ROYAL (07/16)
Geoffrey Hughes (British Actor) - STAB (07/27)
Tony Martin (Singer) - ROYAL (07/27)
Gore Vidal (Author) - HEM (07/31)
Bernard Lovell (Astronomer) - ROYAL (08/06)
Gregory Powell (The Onion Field) - MJ (08/12)
Johnny Pesky (Red Sox legend) - SPIN (08/13)
Helen Gurley Brown (Cosmo Editor) - EDIT (08/13)
Harry Harrison (Author) - YKEWCE (08/15)
William Windom (Actor) - HEM (08/18)
Phyllis Diller (Comic) - WARD (08/20)
Dom Mintoff (Ex-PM of Malta) - STAB (08/20)
Neil Armstrong (Astronaut) - EDIT (08/25)
Max Bygraves (TV performer) - STAB (08/31)
Santiago Carillo (Spanish commie) - SPIN (09/18)
Andy Williams (Singer) - MJ (09/25)
Herbert Lom (Actor) - ROYAL (09/27)
King Sihanouk (Frmr King of Cambodia) - MJ (10/15)
George McGovern (Politico) - GRIM (10/21)
Russell Means (Activist) - MJ (10/22)
Jacques Barzun (Historian) - FIRE (10/25)
Elliott Carter (Composer) - FIRE (11/05)
Clive Dunn (Dad's Army Actor) - SHAUN (11/06)
Lee MacPhail (MLB Executive) - NICK (11/08)
Larry Hagman (Actor) - ZIP (11/23)
Marvin Miller (Baseball labor negotiator) - EDIT (11/27)
Oscar Niemeyer (Architect) - DAAS (12/05)
Dave Brubeck (Musician) - MJ (12/05)
Patrick Moore (Astronomer) - STAB (12/09)
Ravi Shankar (Musician) - MD (12/11)
Jack Klugman (Actor) - WARD (12/24)
Rita Levi-Montalcini (Scientist) - FIRE (12/30)

2011 shaped up to be a banner year in the pool! As of June we had not one but FOUR double-header days, wow! That might be a record, if we kept track of those things. At the halfway mark, MJ had the lead in the Majors with 3 hits, while Starch, E-Brake and Mr. 50s are right behind with two hits; whilst the Luxury Woman is yet to score in 2011. In the Minors, a slew have solo hits but no one has broken out to claim that coveted second smacker yet.

In the end, MJ won the Majors with 6 hits, with E-Brake on his heels coming in second with 5 smackers.

In the Minors, veteran player DAAS won with 3 hits and joins us again in the Majors for 2012! Editer42 came in second with 3 hits in the tie-breaker, while Jack Tripper came in third with 2 hits. Total Number of Hits: 48! Thanks to all for playing, see you in 2012!


The 2011 Cast of Players:

The Hits (48):

The Major Leagues:
CARB = Starch
WARD = Mr. 50s
LUX = The Luxury Woman
E = E-Brake
MJ = MJ

The Minor Leagues:
SPIN = Spinzo
HEM = Dead Balls
DAAS = DrunkAsASkunk
FOTO = Fotojrn
OMEGA = Lady Omega
EDIT = Editer43
NICK = NecroNick
PALL = Vincent Pall
ZIP = Zipper Lips
YKEWCE = You Killem We Chillem
CHOC = Count Chocula
RIG = Rigor Mortis Mairi
RQS = Dr. Robert Q. Spideyman
GRIM = Grim McGraw
GRODY = 80s Avenger
FIRE = Fireball
MD = Master Dark
METAL = Metalicidal
LADYK = Lady Karaoke
VAL = Valley Ghoul
H2CO = The Embalmer
DBZ = DeathByZombies
GSG = Go See God
JOI = Joicifer
SHAUN = Shaun Of The (Nearly) Dead
ESE = Eseress
THEN = TheNicker
SULLY = Sully
JAH = Just A Hobby
FUN = Funny Face
3sCO = Jack Tripper
STAB = STAB-in-the-DARK
SALT = Things To Do In Salt Lake City When You're Dead

******

Anne Francis (Actress) - E (01/02)
Gerry Rafferty (Musician) - CARB (01/04)
Mick Karn (Musician) - DAAS (01/04)
Sargent Shriver (Politico) - CARB (01/18)
Jack Lalanne (Exercise guy) - MD (01/23)
Milton Babbitt (Composer) - YKEWCE (01/29)
Betty Garrett (Actress) - FIRE (02/12)
George Shearing (Antique jazz pianist) - GSG (02/14)
Frank Buckles (WW I Vet) - WARD (02/27)
Jane Russell (Actress) - ZIP (02/28)
Hugh Martin (Composer) - SPIN (03/11)
Michael Gough (Actor) - GRIM (03/17)
Ferlin Husky (Singer) - MJ (03/17)
Elizabeth Taylor (Actress) - E (03/23)
Dorothea Puente (Serial killer) - OMEGA (03/27)
Eddie Joost (MLB) - EDIT (04/12)
Seve Ballesteros (Golfer) - MJ (05/07)
Ron Springs (NFL) - NICK (05/12)
Harmon Killebrew (MLB) - MJ (05/17)
Jeff Conaway (Trainwreck) - METAL (05/27)
Gil Scott-Heron (Singer, Poet) - GRODY (05/27)
Ann McPherson (Medical journalist) - DAAS (05/28)
Bill Clements (Texas Gov) - CHOC (05/29)
James Arness (Actor) - WARD (06/03)
Jack Kevorkian (Dr. Death) - STAB (06/03)
Peter Falk (Actor) - FIRE (06/23)
Nick Charles (Sportscaster) - 3sCO (06/25)
Lura Lynn Ryan (Frmr IL first lady) - DAAS (06/27)
Otto Von Habsburg (Austrian Emperor) - EDIT (07/04)
Betty Ford (Clinic owner) - E (07/08)
Sherwood Schwartz (TV Producer) - E (07/12)
Amy Winehouse (Trainwreck, singer) - ESE (07/23)
David Honeyboy Edwards (Jazz musician) - EDIT (08/29)
Eleanor Mondale (TV Host) - MJ (09/17)
Dolores Hope (Actress) - WARD (09/19)
Mike Heimerdinger (Football) - E (09/30)
Steve Jobs (Entrepreneur) - LUX (10/05)
Al Davis (Raiders owner) - SHAUN (10/08)
Albert Rosellini (Washington Gov) - CHOC (10/10)
Barbara Kent (Actress) - GRIM (10/13)
Moammar Gadhafi (D-bag) - 3sCO (10/20)
Andy Rooney (Cranky TV guy) - PALL (11/04)
Patricia C. Dunn (ex-HP CEO) - STAB (12/04)
Harry Morgan (Actor) - WARD (12/07)
Christopher Hitchens (Author) - MJ (12/15)
Kim Jong Il (Crazy Dictator) - MJ (12/17)
Vaclav Havel (Frmr Czech president) - SHAUN (12/18)
Johannes Heesters (Actor) - OMEGA (12/24)

2010 was a KILLER year for the pool! The inimitable Starch won with a whopping EIGHT hits in the Majors, Mr. 50s came in second with four hits and Spinzo had three, followed by Luxury Woman with two and E-Brake with but one sole hit. Over in the Minors, MJ won with 3 hits and graduated up to the Majors for 2011, while Morbid Inc Auctions came in second in the tie-breaker, followed by GoSeeGod in third with two hits. Total Number of Hits: 50! Great year all, see you in '11!

The 2010 Cast of Players:

The Hits (50):

The Major Leagues:
E = E-Brake
CARB = Starch
WARD = Mr. 50s
LUX = The Luxury Woman
SPIN = Spinzo

The Minor Leagues:
MIA = Morbid Inc. Auctions
NELLY = NellyLunatic1980
FOTO = Fotojrn
DAAS = DrunkAsASkunk
MD = Master Dark
BLAM = Blammo
NICK = NecroNick
VAL = Valley Ghoul
PALL = Vincent Pall
RQS = Dr. Robert Q. Spideyman
EMO = Em-o-Dee
ZIP = Zipper Lips
EDIT = Editer43
CHOC = Count Chocula
H2CO = The Embalmer
GRIM = Grim McGraw
YKEWCE = You Killem We Chillem
GRODY = 80s Avenger
METAL = Metalicidal
REAP = Reaper Man
ERA = Dead Balls
MJ = MJ
3sCO = Jack Tripper
JAH = Just A Hobby
EATS = DeathEaters
CG = Canadian Ghoul
RIG = Rigor Mortis Mairi
FUN = Funny Face
SULLY = Sully
GR = The Grin Reaper
THEN = The Nicker
SALT = Things To Do In Salt Lake City When You're Dead
MMS = MissMuffinStuffer
DUST = Dustman

******

The Results:
Starch wins the Majors with 8 spectacular Hits!
The Winner of the Minor Leagues:
MJ with 3 spooktacular Hits!

Art Clokey (Creator of Gumby) - VAL (01/08)
Miep Gies (Anne Frank hider) - MIA (01/11)
Pernell Roberts (Actor) - GSG (01/24)
J.D. Salinger (Author, recluse) - LUX (01/27)
Zelda Rubinstein (Actress) - CARB (01/27)
Frances Reid (Actress, "Days of Our Lives") - NELLY (02/03)
Doug Fieger (Singer, "The Knack") - DAAS (02/14)
Alexander Haig (Frmr Sec of State) - MJ (02/20)
Doris Haddock (Activist) - NICK (03/09)
Merlin Olsen (Actor) - CARB (03/11)
Fess Parker (Actor) - WARD (03/18)
John Forsythe (Actor) - CARB (04/01)
Meinhardt Raabe (Munchkin) - SPIN (04/09)
Dorothy Height (Activist) - FOTO (04/20)
Juan Antonio Samaranch (Frmr IOC pres) - REAP (04/21)
Lynn Redgrave (Actress) - MJ (05/02)
Guenter Wendt (Astronaut) - EMO (05/03)
Ernie Harwell (Sportscaster) - CARB (05/04)
Lena Horne (Singer) - EDIT (05/09)
Martin Gardner (Mathematician) - MIA (05/22)
Art Linkletter (Radio/TV personality) - WARD (05/26)
Dennis Hopper (Actor) - CARB (05/29)
Rue McClanahan (Actress) - GSG (06/03)
John Wooden (Coach) - CARB (06/04)
Irwin Barker (Canadian comedian) - SPIN (06/21)
Peter Quaife (Ex-Kink) - FOTO (06/23)
Sen. Robert Byrd (US Senator) - WARD (06/28)
George Steinbrenner (Jerkface) - E (07/13)
Mitch Miller (Bandleader) - SPIN (07/31)
Patricia Neal (Actress) - METAL (08/08)
Ted Stevens (Frmr US Senator) - JAH (08/09)
Dan Rostenkowski (Frmr US Congressman) - JAH (08/11)
Edwin Newman (TV newsguy) - EDIT (08/13)
James J. Kilpatrick (Journalist) - FUN (08/15)
Francisco Varallo (Argentine footballer) - NELLY (08/30)
Laurent Fignon (Bike racer) - CARB (08/31)
Harold Gould (Actor) - GRODY (09/11)
Kevin McCarthy (Actor, "Body Snatchers") - MIA (09/11)
Gloria Stuart (Actress) - GRIM (09/26)
Tony Curtis (Actor) - MJ (09/29)
Norman Wisdom (Comedian) - ZIP (10/04)
Simon MacCorkindale (British Actor) - ERA (10/14)
Barbara Billingsley (Jive translator) - WARD (10/16)
Tom Bosley (Actor) - GR (10/19)
Joseph Stein (Playwright) - SULLY (10/24)
Dino De Laurentiis (Director) - MD (11/10)
Pat Burns (NHL coach) - CARB (11/19)
Leslie Nielsen (Don't Call Him Shirley) - EMO (11/28)
Elizabeth Edwards (Politico) - LUX (12/07)
Bob Feller (Baseball) - YKEWCE (12/15)

2009 saw the beginning of changes to come in the pool! We started the season off with a two-fer, one hit for MJ and one for Dead Balls on the fifth. Unlike the previous year, the first couple months weren’t so hot to trot out of the gate but we had some big-name hits in Ricardo “Khaaaaan” Montalban, author John “Uptight” Updike, actor James “Perennial Pick” Whitmore, and actress Wendy “AYBS?” Richard all by the end of February.

Springtime had the lulls even more than usual, and in April only one lonely hit was recorded but it was a biggie - the sexy Bea “And Then There’s Mod” Arthur scored by our Luxury Woman.

Heading into the summertime yours truly, E to the Brake, had the lead in the Majors with a measly two smackers. In the Minors it was a tie betwixt The Embalmer and Editer43 also with two hits each. Five months into the season and a paltry nineteen hits so far total. What in the wide wide world-a sports in a-goin’ on here?

June saw a pick-up in the cadaver-dropping with MIA scoring a prescient hit with David “I Know Kung Fu” Carradine. A few weeks later we had one of the biggest double-headers in pool history – both Michael "Pervert" Jackson and Farrah “A Real Angel” Fawcett scored for E-B and MJ, respectively. Talk about big news! We had two-fers several times this year, pretty good considering the

A lot of big names passed this year, including E-Brake's beloved Patrick "You Can Dirty Dance With Me Anytime Rawr" Swayze, Walter "Hotsy-Totsy" Cronkite, Dominick "OJ's Number One Fan" Dunne, Oral "Snicker" Roberts, and the Kennedy twins, Teddy and Eunice. What lacked in numbers was made up for in star power. In that respect, 2009 was a huge year.

The final numbers were a somewhat lackluster 49 hits for 34 players. In the Majors, E-Brake WON with five of her finest hits ever. Nipping at her heels were Starch in second place and Mr. 50s in third, each with four hits. They were followed by last year’s Minors Champeen Drunk-As-A-Skunk in fourth and The Luxury Woman, with three cadavers each.

In the Minors, veteran player Spinzo WON the Minors with 3-hits in the tie-breaker, followed by Go See God and Morbid Inc. Auctions, respectively. They were closely shadowed by the 2-hitters namely being The Embalmer, Editer43, Vincent Pall, MJ, Cannibal Feast, Mr. Baseball & Deadballs. We welcome Spinzo to the Big Leagues in 2010!


The 2009 Cast of Players:

The Hits (49):

The Major Leagues:
LUX = The Luxury Woman
E = E-Brake
WARD = Mr. 50s
CARB = Starch
DAAS = DrunkAsASkunk

The Minor Leagues:
SPIN = Spinzo
FOTO = Fotojrn
MIA = Morbid Inc Auctions
ERA = Deadballs
MD = Master Dark
BLAM = Blammo
RQS = Dr. Robert Q. Spideyman
NICK = NecroNick
H2CO = The Embalmer
GP = Gentleman Prick
PALL = Vincent Pall
NELLY = NellyLunatic1980
BRAINS = Cannibal Feast
SHAUN = Shaun of the Nearly Dead
MJ = MJ
VAL = Valley Ghoul
CHOC = Count Chocula
BPM = Black Parade Mama
WIG = Jayne Mansfield's Head
EDIT = Editer43
GRODY = 80s Avenger
FUN = Funnyface
GSG = Go See God
GRIM = Grim McGraw
YKEWCE = YouKillem WeChillem
RIGOR = Rigor Mortis Mairi
JAH = It's Just A Hobby
3sCo = Jack Tripper
HOMER = Mr. Baseball
MEGA = Megahurtz
THEN = TheNicker
AWE = K. McAwesome
VIVA = Bastille Guy
FEZ = Flesh Eating Zombie
******

The Results:
E-Brake wins the Majors with 5 Super Hits!
The Winner of the Minor Leagues:
Spinzo with 3 Wowza Hits!



Griffin Bell (Ex-AG) - MJ (01/05)
Carl Pohlad (MLB Owner) - ERA (01/05)
Hortense Calisher (author) - EDIT (01/13)
Ricardo Montalban - E (01/14)
Billy Werber (MLB) – H2CO (01/22)
John Updike (author) – H2CO (01/27)
James Whitmore (actor) - BLAM (02/06)
Wendy Richard - E (02/26)
Paul Harvey (radio) - PALL (02/28)
Horton Foote (playwright) - EDIT (03/04)
Tullio Pinelli (screenwriter) - NELLY (03/07)
Jade Goody (reality TV) - SHAUN (03/22)
George Kell (MLB) - HOMER (03/24)
Beatrice Arthur - LUX (04/25)
Jack Kemp (football/politics) - 3sCO (05/02)
Dom DeLuise (actor) - RIGOR (05/04)
Robert Cornell (congressman) - SPIN (05/10)
Waldemar Cardoso (Brazil Marshal) - MIA (05/13)
Millvina Dean - WARD (05/31)
David Carradine (actor) - MIA (06/03)
Richard Quick (Olympic coach) - E (06/10)
Ed McMahon (TV) - PALL (06/23)
Michael Jackson (pervert) - E (06/25)
Farrah Fawcett (“actress”) - MJ (06/25)
Gale Storm (actress) - GSG (06/27)
Karl Malden - LUX (07/01)
Mollie Sugden ("AYBS?") - GSG (07/01)
Robert McNamara - WARD (07/06)
Walter Cronkite - LUX (07/17)
Henry Allingham (Brit war hero) - MIA (07/18)
Harry Patch (WWI) - DAAS (07/25)
Bobby Robson (soccer) - DAAS (07/31)
Corazon Aquino - DAAS (08/01)
Eunice Kennedy Shriver - CARB (08/11)
Les Paul - WARD (08/13)
Kim Dae-jung (frmr So. Korea prez) - MEGA (08/18)
Robert Novak - CARB (08/18)
Ted Kennedy - E (08/25)
Dominick Dunne (author) - SPIN (08/26)
Patrick Swayze - WARD (09/14)
John Hart ("Lone Ranger") - GSG (09/20)
Susan Atkins - CARB (09/24)
Lou Jacobi (actor) - BRAINS (10/23)
Claude Lévi-Strauss - CARB (10/30)
Bruce King (ex-gov. of NM) - BRAINS (11/13)
Abe Pollin (sports owner) - FOTO (11/24)
Jack Gartside (author) - SPIN (12/05)
Oral Roberts (preacher) - BPM (12/15)
Jennifer Jones (actress) - ERA (12/17)

2008 shot out of the gates! Veteran player NellyLunatic1980 scored the first hit quickly, followed by not one but TWO double-headers later in the month with points for Mr. 50s, Starch, The Lux Lady and yours truly, E-Brake. With 11 hits in the first month, 2008 was looking like a crusher.

February continued the Calvalcade of Hits with nine more stiffs including a double-whammy to start off the month. The 2007 Minor Leagues Champ, Editer43, took a commanding THREE hit lead in the Majors. E-B and Lux were right on his heels with two smackers and in the Minors, Raven and Nelly had two hits with a gaggle of folks scoring solos.

The springtime showed some slacking off in the Grim Reaper department, with a few more solo hits and E & Lux scoring one more each. DrunkenSkunken pulled into the Minors lead with three smackeroos, and we wondered when the next Double-hitter day would be since the last one way back on 2/2.

We didn't wonder long as both Mr. Fiddies and The Turk scored on the second of June (finally, another two-fer!) and Lux & Starchmeister scored another just a month later. In fact, Lux scores two hits in two days in July, a near solo double. So close! She was having a terrific season. But Editer43, the upstart Major League rookie, pulled out his own double-header on 8/13; wow what a show-off, heh!

As the year ended there was a flurry of hits in December; the final tally for the year was 72 hits and 48 players, not too shabby a showing!

In the Majors, The Luxury Woman WON the pool with 7 fantastic hits! Editer43 came in second with 7 hits also (losing out on the tie-breaker). E-Brake took third place with 5 hits, and Mr. 50s rounded out the circuit with 3 hits.

In the Minors, Drunk As A Skunk WON with 4 huge hits, just ahead of The Turk, Starch, NellyLunatic1980, Bad Santa DGD, Necro Nick, Black Parade Mama & Master Dark who all had 3 hits each.

The 2008 Cast of Players:
The Hits (72):

The Major Leagues:
E = E-Brake
LUX = The Luxury Woman
WARD = Mr. 50s
EDIT = Editer43

The Minor Leagues:
BLAM = Blammo
DGD = Bad Santa DGD
CARB = Starch
MD = Master Dark
MIA = Morbid Inc Auctions
3sCO = Jack Tripper
DAAS = DrunkAsASkunk
NICK = NecroNick
FOTO = Fotojrn
BRAINS = Cannibal Feast
GP = Gentleman Prick
VINNY = Vincent Pall
BYZAN = Morturii
WIG = Jayne Mansfield's Head
YKEWCE = YouKillem WeChillem
RAVEN = Raven
NELLY = NellyLunatic1980
SPIN = Spinzo
RQS = Dr. Robert Q. Spideyman
IB = Immortal Beloved
ERA = Dead Balls
MEGA = Megahurts
TURK = The Turk
GRIM = Grim McGraw
BPM = Black Parade Mama
GRODY = The 80s Avenger
ADVIL = I Have A Headache
SUB = Sub-All
SHAUN = Shaun of the Nearly Dead
HOMER = Mr. Baseball
TONY = Scarface
MJ = MJ
H2CO = The Embalmer
GUN = Gunslinger
GSG = Go See God
MORTY = Mortician's Delight
JAH = Just A Hobby
RIGOR = Rigor Mortis Mairi
VAL = Valley Ghoul
C-CHOC = Count Chocula
DIV4 = Divideby4
VIVE = Bastille Guy
FERG = Fergi Wench
FLF = Flatline Frank
******

The Results:
The Luxury Woman wins the Majors with 7 Super Hits!
The Winner of the Minor Leagues:
Drunk As A Skunk with 4 Hits!


Galyani Vadhana (Thai princess) - NELLY (01/02)
George Moore (Aussie HOF Jockey) - SPIN (01/08)
Maila Nurmi (Vampira) - BRAINS (01/10)
Sir Edmund Hillary - FOTO (01/11)
Georgia Frontiere (Rams owner) - E (01/18)
Suzanne Pleshette - WARD (01/19)
Don Wittman (sportscaster) - CARB (01/19)
Viktor Schreckengost (ind. designer) - EDIT (01/26)
Gordon B. Hinkley (LDS) - E (01/27)
Suharto - LUX (01/27)
Archbishop Christodoulos (Greece) - RAVEN (01/28)
Earl Butz - LUX (02/02)
Barry Morse (actor) - TURK (02/02)
Maharishi Yogi - GUN (02/05)
Ruth Stafford Peale - NELLY (02/06)
Phyllis Whitney - EDIT (02/08)
Roy Scheider - RAVEN (02/10)
Oscar Brodney (screenwriter) - EDIT (2/12)
Emily Perry (UK actress) - DAAS (02/19)
William F. Buckley - H2CO (02/27)
Jeff Healey (guitarist) - MJ (03/02)
Arthur C. Clarke - MIA (03/18)
Richard Widmark - 3sCO (03/24)
Jules Dassin (director) - RIGOR (03/31)
Charlton Heston - E (04/05)
John Archibald Wheeler (physicist) - DAAS (04/13)
Edward Lorenz (chaos theory) - MORTY (04/16)
Danny Federici (organist) - NICK (04/17)
Albert Hofmann (LSD) - LUX (04/29)
Eddy Arnold - BPM (05/08)
Willis Lamb (physicist) - DAAS (05/18)
Herb Hash (MLB) - HOMER (05/20)
Dick Martin - GRIM (05/24)
Sydney Pollack - CARB (05/26)
Yves St. Laurent - E (06/01)
Bo Diddley - WARD (06/02)
Mel Ferrer - TURK (06/02)
Jim McKay (TV sports) - TURK (06/07)
Cyd Charisse - MD (06/17)
Jean Delannoy (director) - DGD (06/18)
Dody Goodman - BPM (06/22)
Jesse Helms - DGD (07/04)
Evelyn Keyes (actress) - NICK (07/04)
Michael DeBakey - LUX (07/11)
Bobby Murcer - LUX (07/12)
Tony Snow (press sec) - CARB (07/12)
Katie Reider (musician) - SPIN (07/14)
Dercy Gonçalves (actress) - NELLY (07/19)
Helen Brockman (author) - DAAS (07/22)
Estelle Getty - LUX (07/22)
Aleksander Solzhenitsyn (novelist) - MORTY (08/03)
Henri Cartan (mathmetician) - EDIT (08/13)
Jack Weil (entrepreneur) - EDIT (08/13)
Jerry Reed (country singer) - MJ (09/01)
Anita Page (actress) - MD (09/06)
Don Gutteridge (MLB) - HOMER (09/07)
George Putnam (newscaster) - TONY (09/12)
Paul Newman - DIV4 (09/26)
Boris Efimov (artist) - EDIT (10/01)
Ben Weider (bodybuilding) - GP (10/17)
Studs Terkel - DGD (10/31)
Yma Sumac (singer) - VAL (11/01)
Preacher Roe (MLB) - ERA (11/09)
Herb Score (MLB) - H2CO (11/11)
Sunny von Bülow - GSG (12/06)
Bettie Page (pinup) - NICK (12/11)
Van Johnson - BPM (12/12)
Sammy Baugh - MD (12/17)
W. Mark Felt - WARD (12/18)
Hannah Frank (sculptor) - EDIT (12/18)
Harold Pinter - LUX (12/24)
Eartha Kitt - E (12/25)

2007 geared up to be one of our biggest years yet! Rookie Major Leaguer and 2006 Minors Champ Yersinia Pestis scored the first hit with a boxer, then Putnam’s Tomahawk Chop scored a one-two blow the next day, January 7th, with an early Daily Double AND Raven scored that day as well! With another Two-fer on the 20th, the year was off to a memorable start.

But like Big Brown’s Triple Crown chase (yes this is being written mid-2008), what started off with a bang soon became a whimper and after 13 stunning hits the first month, February pulled up with less than half that and March lagged behind with even less. April was more promising, with Yersinia and The Embalmer scoring a Daily Double on the 14th.

The summertime picked up as it usually does (Why is that? The heat? If it's not the heat it's the humidity, as they say) and at three-quarters the way through the season we had over 50 players and nearly 70 hits, a strong pace for sure.

As the year ended with just 6 hits total for November and December, the final tally was 70 hits and 57 players, the same exact number as 2006. In the immortal words of my future third husband, the great Keanu Reeves: Whoa.

In the Majors, E-Brake won the pool with eight stellar hits, and The Luxury Woman and Yersinia each snagged five fabulous hits. In Minor League action, Editer43 was the Minors Champ with five fantastic hits (three in the first few months)! Master Dark came in second with 4 fearsome hits; Drunk-As-A-Skunk, Morbid Inc. Auctions, Raven, and Bad Santa DGD tied for third with 3 hits apiece.

Congratulations to veteran player Editer43 for his Minor league victory and we heartily welcome him into the Majors for 2008.

The 2007 Cast of Players:
The Hits (70):

The Major Leagues:
E = E-Brake
LUX = The Luxury Woman
YP = Yersinia Pestis

The Minor Leagues:
CARB = Starch
MIA = Morbid Inc Auctions
BLAM = Blammo
RAVE = Raven
MD = Master Dark
VINNY = Vincent Pall
DGD = Bad Santa DGD
DAAS = DrunkAsASkunk
FMTB = Feed My Tree, Biatch!!
3sCO = Jack Tripper
ERA = Dead Balls
SPIN = Spinzo
EDIT = Editer43
GP = Gentleman Prick
FOTO = Fotojrn
END = End of Story
HOWDY = The Death Puppet
BRAINS = Cannibal Feast
NICK = NecroNick
TURK = The Turk
BEET = Mrs. Beetlejuice
WIG = Jayne Mansfield's Head
PTC = Putnam's Tomahawk Chop
MEGA = Megahurtz
NELLY = NellyLunatic1980
IB = Immortal Beloved
BK = Bucket Kickers
GRODY = 80s Avenger
BPM = Black Parade Mama
MJ = MJ
YKEWCE = YouKillEmWeChillEm
TLAZ = Tlazolteol
H2CO = The Embalmer
GUN = Gunslinger
EX = Exsanguination
JAH = Just A Hobby
RIGOR = Rigor Mortis Mairi
GSG = Go See God
FOAMY = Rabid Rick
VAL = Valley Ghoul
VIVE = Bastille Guy
WAM = Wasting Away in Morgueritaville
BYZAN = Morturii
ADVIL = I Have A Headache
GRIM = Grim McGraw
SWAMI = Swami's Athletes
KIM = Kim's Top Ten
HOMER = Mr. Baseball
XIBA = Xibalba
SUB = Sub-All
ROBYN = Robynn The Grave
CLASSY = ClassicSusan
DSS = Dead Scott Scanlon
THING = Things To Do In Salt Lake
City When You're DEAD
******

The Results:
E-Brakey wins the Majors with 8 amazin' Hits
(Wilson, Brecker, Poston, Messner, Astor, Pavarotti, Ghostley,
and Knievel)!
The Winner of the Minor Leagues:
Editer43 with 4 Hits (Walgreen, Marshall, Coleman, and Stiles)!


Yvon Durelle (YP) 01/06
Bobby Hamilton (PTC) 01/07
Magnus Magnusson (RAVE) 01/07
John Silvertand (PTC) 01/07
Yvonne De Carlo (BPM) 01/08
Carlo Ponti (MIA) 01/09
Robert Anton Wilson (E) 01/11
Michael Brecker (E) 01/13
Benny Parsons (DAAS) 01/16
Art Buchwald (LUX) 01/17
Vern Ruhle (MJ) 01/20
George Smathers (NICK) 01/20
E. Howard Hunt (TURK) 01/23
Gian Carlo Menotti (YP) 02/01
Frankie Laine (MD) 02/06
Hank Bauer (SWAMI) 02/09
Maurice Papon (MIA) 02/10
Charles R. Walgreen Jr. (EDIT) 02/17
Bruce Bennett (MD) 02/24
Ernest Gallo (MD) 03/06
Sir Arthur Marshall (EDIT) 03/16
Bowie Kuhn (HOMER) 03/17
Calvert DeForest (FMTB) 03/19
Abe Coleman (EDIT) 03/28
Eddie Robinson (SPIN) 04/03
June Callwood (YP) 04/14
Don Ho (3sCO) 04/14
Kitty Carlisle Hart (MIA) 04/17
Kurt Vonnegut (FMTB) 04/18
Boris Yeltsin (LUX) 04/23
Dabbs Greer (RIGOR) 04/28
Tom Poston (E) 04/30
Wally Schirra (KIM) 05/03
Jerry Falwell (LUX) 05/15
Les Schwab (DGD) 05/18
Charles Nelson Reilly (H2CO) 05/25
Ruth Bell Graham (YP) 06/12
Don Herbert (GSG) 06/14
Kurt Waldheim (H2CO) 06/14
Charles Lane (MD) 07/09
Lady Bird Johnson (LUX) 07/11
Tammy Faye Bakker Messner (E) 07/20
Rollie Stiles (EDIT) 07/22
Muhammad Zahir Shah (TLAZ) 07/23
Tom Snyder (MJ) 07/29
Michelangelo Antonioni (WIG) 07/30
Ingmar Bergman (YP) 07/30
Bill Walsh (RAVE) 07/30
Lee Hazlewood (DGD) 08/04
Merv Griffin (CLASSY) 08/12
Brooke Astor (E) 08/13
Phil Rizzuto (CARB) 08/13
Bill Deedes (WAM) 08/17
Butch van Breda Kolff (ERA) 8/22
Jane Tomlinson (DAAS) 09/04
Luciano Pavarotti (E) 09/07
Jane Wyman (LUX) 09/09
Alice Ghostley (E) 09/22
Marcel Marceau (BYZAN) 09/23
Deborah Kerr (MEGA) 10/16
Barbara West Dainton (DAAS) 10/16
Joey Bishop (VINNY) 10/17
Eve Curie Labouisse (EDIT) 10/22
Porter Wagoner (NELLY) 10/28
Fabulous Moolah (GP) 11/02
Paul Tibbets (CARB) 11/01
Augustus Hawkins (NELLY) 11/10
Evel Knievel (E) 11/30
Cardinal Alfons Stickler (VIVE) 12/12
Dan Fogelberg (DGD) 12/16

2006 started off with a bang! Fifty players entered by early February and we had nine hits in the first five weeks put us on a record-breaking pace...

At almost mid-year and after a fast start, the pace slowed down to just 2 hits in each of April and May. MafiaGuy maintained a one hit lead, with E-Brake and the Wishman right on his cute little tail. Three Minor Leaguers were tied with 2 smackers.

Thanks to a shout-out from Penn Jillette on his radio show in September, we had more new players to welcome! That was way awesome, thanks Penn. By October we had forty-six hits and fifty-six players.

The pool picked up in the last few months, with 5 hits each in October and November, then 6 hits in December (including an incredible final week). Mafia Actuary won the Majors handily with nine stellar hits, while rookie player Yersinia Pestis ran away with the Minors, garnering five hits. He joined us in the Majors for the 2007 season! We had a total of 57 players (wow!) and 70 hits, a record year all around. Thanks to all for playing and we'll see you in 2007.

The 2006 Cast of Players:
The Hits (70):

The Major Leagues:
W = The Wishman
E = E-Brake
MA = Mafia Actuary

The Minor Leagues:
GP = Gentleman Prick
LUX = The Luxury Woman
RHUME = Rhume Temperachure
PTC = Putnam's Tomahawk Chop
MD = MasterDark
BLAM = Blammo
MIA = Morbid Inc. Auctions
CARB = Starch
NICK = NickCC
RAVE = Raven
TURK = The Turk
STIFF = Rigor Mortis Mairi
WIG = Jayne Mansfield's Head
WAM = Wasting Away In Morguearitaville
YKEWCE = YouKillEmWeChillEm
FOAMY = Rabid Rick
MEGA = Mega-Hurts
LIZA = Elizadeath
DAAS = Drunk-As-A-Skunk
MRC = Mr. C
VIVA = Bastille Guy
EDIT = Editer42
DK = Dead Keyne
ERA = Dead Balls
BUCK = Dollar Bill
DGD = Bad Santa DGD
H2CO = The Embalmer
NELLY = NellyLunatic1980
HOMER = Mr. Baseball
VINNY = Vincent Pall
MORTY = Mortician's Delight
GRODY = 80's Avenger
BEET = Mrs. Beetlejuice
IMB = I.M. Balm
CUTE = Agent Cutie
GSG = Go See God
TIARA = Princess Die
CAN = Cannibal Feast
FOTO = Fotojrn
TLAZ = Tlazolteol
SUB = Sub-All
END = End of Story
SWAMI = Swami's Athletes for The Afterlife
3sCO = Jack Tripper
KIM = Kim's Top 10
YBTL = Yersinia Pestis
ADVIL = I Have A Headache
DEE = Dee Perms the Dead
GRRR = GraveRobber
HOWDY = The Death Puppet
FLASH = Reverend Flash
KARLA = Killer Canadian
IB = Immortal Beloved
JAH = It's Just A Hobby
******

The Results:
Mafia Actuary wins the Majors with 9 awesome Hits
(Rugova, Wasserstein, Lewis, Galbraith, Butcher, Fallaci, O'Neil,
Pinochet and Ford)!
The Winner of the Minor Leagues:
Yersinia Pestis with 5 Hits (Hester, LeClair, Hart, Staebler,
and Stratton)!

Lou Rawls (E) 01/06
Jack Snow (NICK) 01/09
Shelley Winters (W) 01/14
Ibrahim Rugova (MA) 01/21
Wendy Wasserstein (MA) 01/30
Coretta Scott King (LUX) 01/31
Johnny Vaught (WAM) 02/03
Betty Friedan (W) 02/04
Granpa Al Lewis (MA) 02/04
Ron Greenwood (DK) 02/08
Phil Brown (FOAMY) 02/09
Freddie Laker (ERA) 02/09
Laurel Hester (YBTL) 02/18
Curt Gowdy (SWAMI) 02/20
John Prufuno (NICK) 03/06
Dana Reeve (RAVE) 03/06
Slobodan Milosevic (CARB) 03/10
Oleg Cassini (EDIT) 03/17
Ray Meyer (SWAMI) 03/17
Caspar Weinberger (MRC) 03/28
William Sloane Coffin (MEGA) 04/12
John Kenneth Galbraith (MA) 04/29
Floyd Patterson (CAN) 05/11
Stanley Kunitz (RHUME) 05/16
Lloyd Bentsen (DGD) 05/23
Billy Preston (VIVE) 06/06
John Tenta (GP) 06/07
Robert Donner (FOAMY) 06/08
Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi (W) 06/08
Vincent Sherman (RHUME) 06/19
Aaron Spelling (E) 06/23
Patsy Ramsey (VIVE) 06/24
Kasey Rogers (E) 07/06
June Allyson (BUCK) 07/08
Shamil Basayev (TLAZ) 07/09
Barnard hughes (BUCK) 07/11
Red Buttons (MORTY) 07/13
Keith LeClair (YBTL) 07/19
Philip D'Arcy Hart (YBTL) 07/30
Joe Rosenthal (FOTO) 08/20
Alfredo Stroessner (ERA) 08/16
James Van Allen (HOMER) 08/09
Cardinal J. Willebrands (VIVE) 08/02
Glenn Ford (FOAMY) 08/30
Susan Butcher (MA) 08/05
Steve Irwin (DEE) 09/04
Robert Earl Jones (W) 09/07
Edna Staebler (YBTL) 09/12
Raymond Baxter (DAAS) 09/15
Oriana Fallaci (MA) 09/15
Patricia Lawford Kennedy (DGD) 09/17
Dorothy Stratton (YBTL) 09/17
Frank "Muddy" Water (SWAMI) 09/20
Byron Wilson (W) 09/26
Buck O'Neil (MA) 10/13
Freddy Fender (GRODY) 10/14
Jane Wyatt (TURK) 10/27
Red Auerbach (E) 10/28
P.W. Botha (MORTY) 10/31
Johnny Sain (PTC) 11/07
Marie Rudisill (STIFF) 11/3
Jack Palance (YKEWCE) 11/10
Ferenc Puskas (DK) 11/17
Milton Friedman (E) 11/16
Augusto Pinochet (MA) 12/10
Joseph Barbera (W) 12/18
Ruth Bernhard (MEGA) 12/18
Peter Boyle (BEET) 12/12
James Brown (BEET) 12/25
Gerald Ford (MA)12/26

2005: Biggest. Year. EVER. Heavens to Betsy (And just who is this Betsy person?), the quantity of hits FAR surpassed any previous year with 68 hits scattered amongst 47 players. YOWZA. Note there were SIX double-header days, and even a Triple on Dec. 10th.

This was an unbelievably active year. The first two months of the season saw EIGHT hits each, and July (a historically active month) yielded ten hits alone. Mafia Actuary scored his own double-header the first week, and your humble scribe E-Brake scored both the first AND last hits of the year. Kismet, baby.

The Wishman got a double-header on 12/10 and won with a record 11 hits; E-Brake was right on his tail with 10 hits; Raven had 6 super hits; and Mr. 50s had 4 faboo hits.

Mafia Actuary won the Minors with 5 hits and moved up to the Major Leagues! NellyLunatic1980, Mr. Baseball, Master Dark and Mega-Hurts all tied for second with 3 hits each. It was a banner year and we look forward to 2006!

The 2005 Cast of Players (47!):
The Hits (68):

The Major Leagues:
W = The Wishman
E = E-Brake
WARD = Mr. 50s
RAVE = Raven

The Minor Leagues:
DARK = Master Dark
RICK = Rick90467
WAM = Wasting Away in Morguearitaville
NICK = Necro Nick
MRC = Mr. C
MAFIA = Mafia Actuary
SUB = Sub-All
RAPID = RapidZappa
DB = Dead Balls
VINNY = Vincent Pall
GRODY = 80s Renegade
TLAZ = Tlazolteol
EDIT = Editer42
MEGA = Mega-Hurts
MORTY = Morty's De-Lite
MIA = Morbid Inc. Auctions
RHUME = Rhume Temperachure
ADVIL = I Have A Headache
GENT = Gentleman Prick
CRAB = Crazy Bastard
IMB = I.M. Balm
CUTIE = Agent Cutie
STIFF = Rigor Mortis Mairi
GUTS = Eviscera
YKEWCE = YouKillEmWeChillEm
GUN = Gunslinger
TIARA = Princess Die
THIGH = Cannibal Feast
CYN = Cynthisa
LOKI = Loki
SLAB = Slabmaster G
VIVA = Bastille Guy
H2CO = The Embalmer
HOMER = Mr. Baseball
NELLY = NellyLunatic1980
LUX = The Luxury Woman
KMS = Killing Me Softly
GSG = Go See God
DULCE = Dulcet Eldritch
BLAM = Blammo
DGD = Bad Santa DGD
PEARL = Pearly Gates
TURK = The Turk
******
The Results:
The Wishman wins the pool with 11 record-shattering Hits (Schmeling, Miller, The Pope, Rodino, Hildegarde, McCormick, Wiesenthal, Parks, Edwards, McCarthy, and Pryor)!
The Winner of the Minor Leagues:
MAFIA ACTUARY with 5 Hits (Hole, Robichaud, Johnson, Porter, and Tisch). Welcome back to the Majors!

Danny Sugerman (E) 01/05
Lois Hole (MAFIA) 01/06
Louis Robichaud (MAFIA) 01/06
Charlie Bell (RAVE) 01/17
Zhao Ziyang (MEGA) 01/17
Johnny Carson (GENT) 01/23
Philip Johnson (MAFIA) 01/26
Ivan Noble (MRC) 01/31
Max Schmeling (W) 02/02
Ernst Mayr (DARK) 02/03
Ossie Davis (RHUME) 02/04
Arthur Miller (W) 02/10
James Porter (MAFIA) 02/11
Sandra Dee (E) 02/20
John Raitt (HOMER) 02/20
Simone Simon (NELLY) 02/22
Hans Bethe (RICK) 03/06
Aslan Maskhadov (TLAZ) 03/08
George Kennan (MEGA) 03/17
Barney Martin (GENT) 03/21
James Callaghan (DARK) 03/26
Rev. Fred Robb (IMB) 03/28
Harald Juhnke (RAPID) 04/01
Pope John Paul II (W) 04/02
Saul Bellow (H2CO) 04/05
Dale Messick (MEGA) 04/05
Prince Rainier (E) 04/06
Sir John Mills (RICK) 04/23
Mason Adams (KMS) 04/26
Peter Rodino (W) 05/07
Thurl Ravenscroft (MORTY) 05/22
Eddie Albert (WARD) 05/26
George Mikan (NICK) 06/01
Leon Askin (RAVE) 06/03
Cardinal Jaime Sin (VIVA) 06/21
Paul Winchell (SLAB) 06/24
Christopher Fry (YKEWCE) 06/30
Hank Stram (WAM) 07/04
James Stockdale (RAVE) 07/05
Kevin Hagen (E) 07/09
Frances Langford (GSG) 07/11
Edward Heath (RAVE) 07/17
William Westmoreland (HOMER) 07/18
James Doohan (E) 07/20
Myron Floren (NELLY) 07/23
Hildegarde (W) 07/29
Pat McCormick (W) 07/29
King Fahd (RAVE) 08/01
Ibrahim Ferrar (VIVA) 08/06
Barbara Bel Geddes (E) 08/08
Ted "Double Duty" Radcliffe (DARK) 08/11
William Rehnquist (E) 09/03
Robert Wise (KMS) 09/14
Simon Wiesenthal (W) 09/20
Molly Yard (H2CO) 09/21
Tommy Bond (CUTIE) 09/24
Don Adams (E) 09/25
Rosa Parks (W) 10/24
Al Lopez (E) 10/30
Skitch Henderson (HOMER) 11/01
Peter F. Drucker (NELLY) 11/11
Preston Robert Tisch (MAFIA) 11/15
Ralph Edwards (W) 11/16
Eugene McCarthy (W) 12/10
Richard Pryor (W) 12/10
Mary Jackson (EDT) 12/10
William Proxmire (RAVE) 12/15
Jack Anderson (E) 12/17

2004: The Year after 2003. Right, not very original, but who would've thought that anything could compare to 2003's passings of perennial pool favorites like Hope (the poster boy of deadpools), Hepburn, Peck, Maddox, Thurman and of course, her icky heil-ness herself, Leni Riefenstahl. But sho' nuff, January 2004 stormed in like a lion. Seven hits by the end of the month foretold another busy year.
Well, it wasn't to be a hundred-hit year, but the months ebbed and flowed as usual. March brought several notable hits, including greats Peter Ustinov and Alistair Cooke (another deadpool fave), and May brought the unfortunate demise of TV legend Tony Randall. Meanwhile, The Wishman scored three of the pool's hits in a row, one each in March, April and May. Pretty talented! The last week of May gave two hits to eventual Minors Champeen, Raven. By the middle of the season, E-Brake was leading the Pool with a comfortable 4 hits. Not too shabby for a girl from a trailer park with a dream. Wait, I'm channeling Hilary Swank, never mind…
Of course, who could forget June 10th, the day one of the greatest legends in the world passed away. Yes, the Man himself, Ray Charles, gave Mr. 50s his second hit and left the rest of us forty-odd years of great music and a soon-to-be-award winning biopic which was pretty cool. Oh yeah, and some guy name Reagan died that month too but it passed almost unnoticed by the media.
The second half of the year opens with Marlon Brando, attention-hound that he was, getting all jealous of a certain former president's lavish tributes. So, he decided to become a contendah himself. Rhumey gained his second hit and was chasing Raven for the Minors lead, along with Rigor Mairi Mortis. The rest of July passes pretty quietly, then in August, the unexpected yet not surprising passing of Rick "I'm dead, bitch" James gives Death from Above his first ever Ghoul Pool hit. Nice picking!
The remainder of August gave us just three hits but they were doozies. Red Adair got Minor Leaguer Morty's De-Lite "fired up" (ha, get it?) with his sole hit of the season; Then, Fay Wray and Julia Child gave The Wishman a double-whammy that took the lead from the wonderful and exciting E-Brake, whose hits had dried up faster than Gomer after seeing Aunt Bee naked. But never fear, by the middle of September Miss E scored her fifth and lead-tying hit with Skeeter "Swatted" Davis, and then she took the lead with Scream-queen Janet Leigh.
October had Mr. 50s making a bold move for the lead with two more hits, JFK impersonator Vaughn Meader and comedy legend Rodney Dangerfield. What he has against comedians, I don't know, but it seems to work for him. We also say goodbye to the great and courageous Christopher Reeve, and to photo legend Richard Avedon, both somewhat unexpected and sudden deaths. The final months of the year had E-Brake leading the Wishman by the slimmest of margins, six hits to five, with Mr. 50s barely trailing by one and rookie Major leaguer Mega-Hurts with two hits. In the Minors, Raven took the lead with his third score while a bunch of people hovered in second place with two hits each.
With the end of November, E-Brake scored a SEVENTH and pool-winning hit with John Drew Barrymore (screw-up dad of Drew) and despite a late run by both The Wishman (with Johnny Oates) and Mr. 50s (with Artie Shaw), she grasped tightly to her lead to WIN THE POOL! Raven secures his place in Ghoul Pool history by holding on to his lead and winning the Minors with three smackers. He joined us for the 2005 Major League season.
Congrats to our winners and thanks again to all for playing! We had a record number of players – Fifty Three, wow! And forty-eight hits is not too shabby either.
The 2004 Cast of Players (53!):
The Hits (48):
The Major Leagues:
W = The Wishman
E = E-Brake
WARD = Mr. 50s
MEGA = Mega-Hurts

The Minor Leagues:
LUX = The Luxury Woman
SUB = Sub-All
RAVE = Raven
STIFF = Rigor Mortis Mairi
WIG = Jayne Mansfield’s Head
DARK = Master Dark
TEMP = Rhume Temperachure
ZAPP = RapidZappa
GENT = Gentleman Prick
BLOTTO = DrunkAsASkunk
WAM = Wasting Away in Morguearitaville
SLAB = Slabmaster G.
YERS = Yersinia
MAFIA = Mafia Actuary
SICLE = Corpsicle
MORTY = Mortician's De-Lite
CRAB = Crazy Bastard
NICK = Necro Nick
BURP = Cannibal Feast
SKIP = Mighty Skippy
GUN = Gunslinger
TLAZ = Tlazolteol
HANES = Your Mom’s Underwear
GSG = Go See God
GRODY = 80s Renegade
CHOC = Chocolate Monkey
VIVE = Bastille Guy
ADVIL = I Have A Headache
BOOGIE = Disco DoGG
KMS = Killing Me Softly
PALL = Vincent Pall
EDIT = Editer42
ABRA = Abra Cadaver
HORNY = Bluerhino
BALMY = Embalmer
BUZZ = The Buzzard
MIA = Morbid Inc. Auctions
SUB-HUB = Mr. Baseball
IMB = I.M. Balm
DFA = Death From Above
CUTIE = Agent Cutie
LETHAL = Lethal Ianjection
YKEWCE = YouKillEmWeChillEm
EMT = EMTReaper
ERAD = The Eradicator
EVIS = Eviscera
TIARA = Princess Die
RICKY = Rick90467
FISHY = Trout

Maxine Postal (MAFIA) 01/01
Tug McGraw (MEGA) 01/05
Ann Miller (GRODY) 01/22
Bob Keeshan (WARD) 01/23
Jack Paar (E) 01/27
Elroy “Crazy Legs” Hirsch (CHOC) 01/28
Janet Frame (E) 01/28
Claude Ryan (MAFIA) 02/09
Andy Seminick (SUB-HUB) 02/22
Mercedes McCambridge (KMS) 03/02
Cecily Adams (E) 03/03
Franz Koenig (ZAPP) 03/13
Queen Juliana (STIFF) 03/20
Peter Ustinov (TEMP) 3/28
Alistair Cooke (W) 03/30
Estee Lauder (W) 04/24
Barney Kessel (W) 05/06
Tony Randall (STIFF) 05/17
Sam Johnson (RAVE) 05/22
Jack Rosenthal (RAVE) 05/29
William Manchester (MEGA) 06/01
Ronald Reagan (E) 06/05
Ray Charles (WARD) 06/10
Jim Bacon - (LETHAL) 06/20
Marlon Brando (TEMP) 07/01
Isabel Sanford (WAM) 07/09
Inge Meysel (ZAPP) 07/10
Charles Sweeney (GSG) 07/15
Francis Crick (EDIT) 07/28
Henri Cartier-Bresson (YERS) 08/02
Rick James (DFA) 08/06
Red Adair (MORTY) 08/07
Fay Wray (W) 08/08
Julia Child (W) 08/13
Skeeter Davis (E) 09/18
Richard Avedon (BOOGIE) 10/01
Janet Leigh (E) 10/03
Rodney Dangerfield (WARD) 10/05
Christopher Reeve (ADVIL) 10/10
Robert Merrill (EVIS) 10/23
Princess Alice of Gloucester (BLOTTO) 10/29
Vaughn Meader (WARD) 10/29
Yasser Arafat (RAVE) 11/10
John Drew Barrymore (E) 11/29
Johnny Oates (W) 12/24
Angus Ogilvy (BLOTTO) 12/26
Artie Shaw (WARD) 12/30
*****
The Results:
E-Brake wins the pool with 7 incredible Hits
(Reagan, Leigh, Frame, Davis, Paar, Adams, and Barrymore)!
The Winner of the Minor Leagues:
RAVEN with 3 Hits (Arafat, Johnson and Rosenthal).
Nice going babe!

2003: All Hope is Lost! It was a heck of a beginning to a heck of a year. January First, barely into the New Year, and we already had our First Hit. Chocolate Monkey scores the Fastest Hit Ever (FHE) in the Big Game by choosing War Hero Joe Foss at 6:30am, and BLAMMO! Mr. Foss dies that afternoon. Unfreakinbelievable. Way to go, Monkey man.
Then comes the dawn of January 2nd, and it soon brought forth news of a HIT for yours truly, E-Brake! Famed Astrologer Sydney "Didn't see it comin" Omarr gives me my own quick hit. His own Horoscope for that day? LEO - "Later you beat the odds, much to the astonishment of experts.". It should have added: Sucker!
But hark - on the evening of January 3rd, news comes that sports guy Sid Gillman passed away in his sleep during the early morning hours. Hey, look - our humble but lovable Bastille Guy picked him...uh...that afternoon. Horrors! A WASTED HIT! Mr. Gillman is disqualified, due to being dead and all by the time he was picked. I called to give my personal condolences to Bastille-dude, who was a good sport about it. We almost had 3 hits in 3 days. So close...yet so far.
Spring comes, blah blah, a few hits, and we skip ahead to June....and like the almond growers say (sort of): "Just a Corpse a Day, that's all we ask". HOLY COW! A month the likes will never be seen again. It was open season on celebs, and they dropped with abandon, with GLEE even. 11 Hits in one single month - starting with "Classie" Freddy Blassie, and ending with Buddy Hackett. At the end of June, E-Brake was leading the pool with 3 hits, while Gentleman Prick and RapidZappa were tied in the Minors with 2 hits each.
July followed with a not-too-shabby 7 Hits, and by August, poor E-Brake's fingers were whittled to naught but bone for all the typing she had to do (insert tiny violins here). BUT the biggest hit of all, the one we've all been waiting for: MR. BOB "Unfunny" HOPE passes on at the age of 136, giving Mr. 50s (Ward) his permanent Claim to Deathpool Fame. I swear, the New York Post obit said: FINALLY! OK, maybe not, but it should have. Deadpoolers all over the world gasp in unison, and just as a butterfly's wings trigger a cool breeze, "The Gasp heard 'Round the World" triggers a freakin' hurricane of frenzied posts and phone calls.

Other notable passings of the year include June and Johnny Cash, Gregory Peck, Hume Cronyn, Lester "the Jester" Maddox, Strom Thurmond, Shaky Kate Hepburn, Barry "the Velvet Walrus" White, Buddy Ebsen, Bobby "my son is a dick" Bonds, rat finks Elia Kazan & Leni Riefenstahl, Mdme Chiangie, Warren Zevon...on and on. We also had THREE Double-Dip Days: 6/18, 7/22, and 9/28. It begs the question: Are there any celebs left for 2004?!?

Anywho, back to a slow August, yielding just one measly smacker, which gave way to a torrent of Hits again, in September and October - 14 total! By then, there was smoke coming off E-Brake's keyboard from all the updating. Yow.
The season ended with a trickle of Hits, and Mega-Hurts pulled out his first Minor League win, with 4 super picks. He joins us in the Majors for 2004, congratulations! The Wishman holds on to his lead, despite a November hit for the Brake, to win the Pool with his 6 spectacular Hits. Nice going, Wishmaster! The season ended with an incredible FIFTY-ONE HITS, blowing away the previous record of 33. Yep, Fifty-one hits for fifty-one players. To paraphrase our almond growers again: Just one a week, that's all we ask...
And Hey, my THANKS to all you Players out there - we had another amazing turn out! 51 lists is nothing to shake a stick at. Way to keep me off the streets and out of trouble. My honey Crispin Glover kept calling for a date, but I had to keep begging off to update the Pool...sigh. He'll come around again, right? RIGHT?!?
The 2003 Cast of Players (51!):
The Hits (51):
The Major Leagues:
E = E-Brake
W = The Wishman
SG = The Single Guy
MAFIA = Mafia Actuary

The Minor Leagues:
LUX = Luxury Woman
GENT = Gentleman Prick
BALM = I.M. Balm
DARK = Master Dark
RAVE = Raven
CAN = Cannibal Feast
TEMP = Rhume Temperachure
WIG = Jayne Mansfield's Head
MEGA = Mega-Hurts
WAM = Wasting Away in Morguearitaville
NUT = One to the Nuts
DAAS = DrunkAsASkunk
YERS = Yersenia
SICLE = Corpsicle
CHOC = Chocolate Monkey
SKITZ = Skitzy
SUB = Sub-All
GUN = Gunslinger
EDIT = Editer42
TOE = Toe Tagger
REN = 80s Renegade
ZAPP = RapidZappa
MISH = Mishaa
ABRA = Abracadaver
KMS = Killing Me Softly
BGUY = Bastille Guy
SKIP = Mighty Skippy
MAMA = YourMOMSunderwear
TLAZ = Tlazolteol
NICK = Necro Nick
MIGS = Meat-Is-Good
MORTY = Mortician's De-Lite
CRAB = Crazy Bastard
SLAB = Slabmaster General
CUTE = Agent Cutie
MRS = Mrs. Atti Tude
RIG = Rigor Mortis Mairi
DBH = Death Becomes Her
LADY = Lady Flatliner
KCHJ = KC Hose Jockey
VW = Voodoowraith
PALL = Vincent Pall
BEAT = I Beat You To This Name
PHIL = Phil D'Graves
TRENCH = Trenchfoot
CHICK = Chickenhead
DISCO = Disco DoGG

Joseph Foss (CHOC) 01/01
Sydney Omarr (E) 01/02
Al Hirschfeld (EDIT) 01/20
Tom Christerson (BALM) 02/07
Johnny Longden (E) 02/14
Johnny PayCheck (GUN) 02/18
Marcel Prawy (ZAPP) 02/23
Hank Ballard (DARK) 03/02
Major Ronald Ferguson (DAAS) 03/16
Hans Hermann Groer (ZAPP) 03/24
Walter Sisulu (TLAZ) 05/05
Robert Stack (MEGA) 05/14
June Carter Cash (SKIP) 05/15
“Classie” Freddie Blassie (GENT) 06/02
David Brinkley (KMS) 06/11
Gregory Peck (WARD) 06/12
Hume Cronyn (GENT) 06/15
Paul Daisley (RAVE) 06/18
Larry Doby (SLAB) 06/18
Roger Neilson (E) 06/21
Lester Maddox (W) 06/25
Strom Thurmond (WARD) 06/26
Katharine Hepburn (W) 06/29
Buddy Hackett (SICLE) 06/30
Barry White (MAFIA) 07/04
Buddy Ebsen (WARD) 07/06
Lord Shawcross (DAAS) 07/10
Carol Shields (MAFIA) 07/16
Qusay Hussein (RIG) 07/22
Uday Hussein (SKIP) 07/22
Bob Hope (WARD) 07/27
Bobby Bonds (KCHJ) 08/23
Warren Zevon (E) 09/07
Leni Riefenstahl (W) 09/08
Edward Teller (MEGA) 09/09
Johnny Cash (W) 09/11
Sheb Wooley (MAFIA) 09/16
Donald O'Connor (BALM) 09/27
Yukichi Chuganji (SUB) 09/28
Elia Kazan (MEGA) 09/28
Elena Slough (MRS) 10/05
Stu Hart (GENT) 10/16
Jack Elam (CUTE) 10/20
Mdme Chiang Kai-Shek (W) 10/23
Rod Roddy (W) 10/26
Kamato Hongo(MRS) 10/31
Art Carney (E) 11/09
Penny Singleton (TOE) 11/12
Warren Spahn (CHOC) 11/24
Gertrude Ederle (MEGA) 11/30
Ruben Gonzalez (ZAPP) 12/08

The Results:

The Wishman wins the Pool with 6 Hits
(Maddox, Hepburn, Riefenstahl, Johnny Cash, Chiang Kai-Shek and Roddy)!

The Winner of the Minor Leagues:
Mega-Hurts with 4 Hits (Stack, Teller, Kazan and Ederle).
Way to go!

2002: The Trifecta Year. What a thrilling season! It started out furious, with over 20 pool hits by the end of June. See below for a first hand account of the March 27th Brouhaha, where 3 hits happened in one day. Yes, IN ONE DAY! Unreal!
December was a tight finish, folks, it was really down to the wire in both the Majors and Minors. In the Majors, E-Brake and Drunken Skunken both ended the season with 6 hits each. Zoinks!! The tie-breaker went to E-Brake (woohoo) with a mean average pick age of 67.5 years old, while Skunkboy's had an average of 68.1. It doesn't get any closer than that!! It was great having Ray back in the Majors for a year, and as two-time Minor League Champ, I'm sure we'll be seeing him up here again.

In Minor League Action, the humble but lovable Mafia Actuary joined the Minors late in the year, got two quicks hits, and is now bumped up to the Majors with us Big Kids for 2003. Huzzah!

It was a record year for the Pool, the most successful one in our 7 year history! We had a phenomenal total of 54 players (20 more than the previous year), a record-tying 33 Hits, AND we started the Who's Next? Side Game, a offshoot where you all pick the Next to Go. It's been popular and keeps interest in pooling going all year long. Go check out the Message Board for info and to make an entry.
In Who's Next-Side Game History, this summer saw the Fastest Hit ever in Side Game, and possibly ANY game's, history. It was scored by my own bad self with a Round Six pick of baseball announcer Jack Buck just a scant 30 minutes before he passes on. Yes, 30 minutes. 30 minutes. I'm still in shock. Congrats also go out to Bastille Guy, for winning the very First Round just two days after choosing Milt "The Skirt" Berle. Way to humm!
March 27th, 2002. A Date that Will Live in Ghoul Pool Infamy. The rare, elusive bird called the "Triple Play Day" is caged. First, we hear that the beloved drunken dwarf (no, not Hank), Dudley Moore, has died from pneumonia. Then, mere hours later, comes news that legendarily "endowed" (if you know what I mean) TV Icon Milton Berle is gone (old age? colon cancer? pantyhose twisted? whatever). Not long after, word hits that one of Hollywood's greatest directors ever, Billy Wilder, had also bit the proverbial dust at the age of 255 or something. Amazing. Totally shocking. That one day gave a single hit each for Major Leaguers The Wishman, Mr. 50's, and yours truly, E-Brake. Yes, children, listen and learn: March 27th was a day the likes of which have not been seen before, and may not be seen again. (E. side note: You know what slays me? I had ALL 3 in the top 7 of my 2001 list. Dagnabbit!).
AND THEN - Holy Old Biddies, Batman! - comes March 30th. Faster than you can say "scones and tea", or more likely "gin and tonic", Britain's Queen Mum, aka Elizabeth The Queen Mother, aka that rotten old coot (depending on who you ask), succumbs to old age. Finally. I mean, come on, 101? "Queen Mummy" is more like it. A Hit for returning Major Leaguer Drunk-As-A-Skunk (his second Royal hit in less than 2 months, wow!). Four big hits in Four scant days for Four little Major Leaguers. Life, and Death, is always interesting.
The 2002 Cast of Players (54!):
The Hits (33):
The Major Leagues:
W = The Wishman
E = E-Brake
SG = The Single Guy
DAAS = Drunk-As-A-Skunk

The Minor Leagues:
LUX = The Luxury Woman
RHU = Rhume Temperchure
MISH = Mishaa
CAN = Cannibal Feast
IMB = I.M. Balm
EDT = Editer42
SLAB = Slabmaster General
TOE = Toe Tagger
GENT = Gentleman Prick
RAP = RapidZappa
MAC = Mac the Knife
CORP = Corpus Defunctus
RIG = Rigor "Mairi" Mortis
FOD = Fairy O'Death
SUB = Sub-All
END = End of Story
ONE = One to the Nuts
MEAT = Meat-is-Good
TLAZ = Tlazolteol
NITE = Nightstalker
GUN = Gunslinger
RAVE = Raven
SKIP = The Mighty Skippy
ATTI = Mrs. Atti Tude
DUI = Drunk Driver
KMS = Killing Me Softly
SKIT = Skitzy
CHOC = Chocolate Monkey
CIGS = Count Smoke-ula
BUB = Bubonicus
MISS = Miss Mortician
NEC = Necroscope
FRZ = Corpsicle
BBF = Bigbadfred aint dead
BG = Bastille Guy
REN = 80s Renegade
BEEP = LimoRick
MsQR = MistressQueenReaper
LAZ = Lazidor
YER = Yersinia
CROX = CanadaRox690
SHAP = ShapeShifter
WIG = Jayne Mansfield's Head
HOR = Horneyokie
CRAZ = Crazy Bastard
CROW = Crowley
MAMA = YourMOMSunderwear
MD = Master Dark
MAFIA = Mafia Actuary
WAIM = Wasting Away in Morguearitaville

Dave Thomas (CORP) 01/08
Carrie Hamilton (E) 01/20
Peggy Lee (W) 01/21
Princess Margaret (DAAS) 02/09
Chuck Jones (MEAT) 02/22
Leo Ornstein (SLAB) 02/24
Milton Berle (WARD) 03/27
Dudley Moore (W) 03/27
Billy Wilder (E) 03/27
The Queen Mum (DAAS) 03/30
Lou Thesz (GENT) 04/27
Hugo Banzer (DAAS) 05/05
Diane Pretty (DAAS) 05/11
Joe Bonanno (W) 05/12
Sam Snead (BEEP) 05/23
Mildred Wirt Benson (EDT) 05/28
Robbin Crosby (E) 06/06
John Gotti (W) 06/10
Jack Buck (E) 06/18
Erwin Chargaff (RAP) 06/22
Rosemary Clooney (SKIT) 06/29
Ted Williams (E) 07/05
Lionel Hampton (W) 08/31
Kim Hunter (KMS) 09/11
James Gregory (MD) 09/16
Bob Hayes (DAAS) 09/18
Walter Annenberg (MAFIA) 10/01
Stephen Ambrose (MAFIA) 10/13
Kam Fong (SHAP) 10/18
Richard Harris (NEC) 10/25
Myra Hindley (DAAS) 11/15
James Coburn (RHU) 11/18
Roone Arledge (E) 12/05

********
The Results:

E-Brake wins the Pool
with 6 Hits (Hamilton, Wilder,
Crosby, Buck, Williams and
Arledge) totaling a mean average
age of 67.5 years old.

Drunken Skunken comes in with
6 hits too, with an average
age of 68.1 years. Close!


The Winner of the Minor Leagues:
Mafia Actuary with 2 Hits
(Annenberg and Ambrose).
Way to go!

2001: A Race Odyssey What a year! A near-record number of members (36 players), and a huge year for Hits (29 dingers). It started off deceptively slow, with no points in January. Then, finally, the Gates Flew Open! E-B and The Wishman each score a hit on the same friggin' day. March roared in like an MGM lion, while April whimpered in fear. Over the summer, Meat-is-Good sets a record with fastest hit, joining the Pool on June 25th and getting her first hit on June 28th, with Mortimer Adler. It was a bittersweet season for the Pool, as we said goodbye to legends George Harrison, John Lee Hooker, and Jack Lemmon. In the end, it was The Wishman winning with 4 hits (the points were really spread out this year over many players), and Drunk-As-A-Skunk wins the Minors again, with 3 hits.
Of Note - February 7th, 2001. A special Day in my heart, as it was not just the day the Grim Reaper swathed a big Double-Header through death pool land, but it was also a certain E-Brake's birthday. Yup, I scored both Anne Morrow Lindbergh AND Dale Evans in 2 separate pools. A very lovely present, but golly, I didn't get Anne or Dale anything. How gauche.
The 2001 Cast of Players (36):
The Hits (29):
The Major Leagues:
E = E-Brake
W = The Wishman
SG = The Single Guy
SUB = Sub-All
The Minor Leagues:
IMB = I.M. Balm
SKIP = Mighty Skippy
GP = Gentleman Prick
DLS = Death's Little Sister
BLD = Bloodlust
SAL = Sally Ragdoll
CAN = Cannibal Feast
NS = NightStalker
SLA = Slabmaster General
DE = Demon Eyes
RIG = Rigor "Mairi" Mortis
MAT = Mrs. Atti Tude
RAP = Rapidzappa
FOD = Fairy O' Death
EOS = End of Story
MAC = Mac the Knife
AB = AbraCadaver
DAAS = DrunkAsASkunk
LUX = The Luxury Woman
EDT = Editer42
ROOK = The Rookie
MIR = M.I. Rich? At Times
COR = Corpus Defunctus
CM = The Croakmeister
TLZ = Tlazolteol
GR = The Grin Reaper
MG = Meat-is-Good
BAAL = Baal
N&P = Needles & Pins
GD7 = Grave Digger 007
MALF = Malfean
BIGB = Big Brother
Dale Evans (E) 02/07
Anne Morrow Lindbergh (W) 02/07
Abe Beame (E) 02/20
John Diamond (DAAS) 03/02
Harold Stassen (IMB) 03/04
Dame Nanette de Valois (DAAS) 03/08
Morton Downey, Jr. (SG) 03/12
Ann Sothern (E) 03/15
Willie Stargell (MIR) 04/09
Perry Como (RAP) 05/12
Joe Moakley (ROOK) 05/28
Arlene Francis (SUB) 05/31
Hank Ketcham (ROOK) 06/01
Imogene Coca (W) 06/02
Anthony Quinn (GP) 06/03
John Lee Hooker (W) 06/21
Jack Lemmon (SAL) 06/27
Mortimer J. Adler (MG) 06/28
Mimi Farina (DAAS) 07/18
Eudora Welty (EDT) 07/23
Joan Finney (MIR) 07/28
Poul Anderson (DLS) 07/31
Maureen Reagan (AB) 08/08
Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf (RIG) 09/04
Fred De Cordova (GR) 09/15
George Gately (MG) 09/30
Mike Mansfield (W) 10/05
Emily Couric (SG) 10/18
George Harrison (MAC) 11/29
********
The Results:
The Wishman wins the Pool with
4 Hits (Lindbergh, Coca, Hooker
and Mansfield).
Winner of the Minor Leagues:
Drunk-As-A-Skunk with 3 Hits
(Diamond, de Valois and Farina).

In The Year 2000: The season starts fast for E-Brake, who has all 6 of her hits by the first of July - including a Two-Fer/Double-Down/Bonus-Buy May the twenty-first, with scores on both Dame Babs Cartland and her nubile lovebunny, Sir John Gielgud. Then after another hit with Walter Matthau on July 1st...nothing, nada, zilch for the rest of the year. Feast or famine, I’ll tell you what, baby. Yet it was still enough to fend off a valiant yet futile last gasp by The Wishman with 3 worrisome hits in November and December. But his 5 total hits are not enough to Beat the Brake. Last minute hilarity ensues when Alan Cranston dies on December 31st. We hate when that happens, especially when E-Brake’s going through Chemo-sabe and is really NOT in the mood to deal with anything requiring some semblance of a thought process. The Single Guy (aka, "Mr. 50's") avoids the Big Goose Egg with his final-week hit of Victor Borge, while conversely, new Major Leaguer Drunken Skunken (who would soon join us again in 2002) gets a January hit and then no more. Weirdness! In the Minors, Sub-All wins with 3 hits (including the first of the year, Kin Narita, one-half of Japan's oldest twins) and comes on up to play in the Majors in 2001.
The 2000 Cast of Players (22):
The Hits (24):
The Major Leagues:
E = E-Brake
W = The Wishman
SG = The Single Guy
DNK = DrunkAsASkunk
The Minor Leagues:
Z = Zero
IMB = I.M. Balm
MAT = Mrs. Atti Tude
ZL = Zombie Lotto
SA = Sub-All
CF = Cannibal Feast
EDT = Editer42
MON = Monte
KIN = Kindredkind
SKIP = The Mighty Skippy
BL = Bloodlust
FF = Famous Fertilizer
NS = Nightstalker
DOT = The Dot Com Mortician
AB = AbraCadaver
DC = DeadCoumpy
SJ = Scary Jerk
TKG = Thrillkillgirl
Kin Narita (SA) 01/23
Don Budge (DNK) 01/26
Carl Albert (EDT) 02/04
Jim Varney (CF) 02/10
Tom Landry (E) 02/12
Charles Schulz (W) 02/12
Durward Kirby (W) 03/15
Ian Dury (E) 03/27
Terence McKenna (EDT) 04/03
Cardinal John O'Connor (E) 05/04
Dame Barbara Cartland (E) 05/21
Sir John Gielgud (E) 05/21
Dowager Empress Nagako (SA) 06/17
Walter Matthau (E) 07/01
Alec Guinness (EDT) 08/05
Loretta Young (MAT) 08/12
Carl Barks (SA) 08/25
Pierre Trudeau (AB) 09/28
Benjamin Orr (AB) 10/03
Jimmie Davis (W) 11/05
Werner Klemperer (SA) 12/06
Billy Barty (W) 12/23
Victor Borge (SG) 12/23
Alan Cranston (W) 12/31

The Results:
E-Brake wins the Pool with
6 Hits (Cartland, Dury, Gielgud, Landry,
Matthau, and O'Connor)

Winner of the Minor Leagues:
Sub-All with 3 Hits
(Barks, Klemperer, and Nagako).

Race: 1999. A good, solid year for the Pool, with 20 players but a hearseload of hits (28). The Single Guy opens with a quick hit on January 4th, with crybaby girly-man Iron Eyes Cody (you know, the Italian-Indian of environmental Ad fame). Some perennial favorites kicked the dead bucket (DiMaggio, Wences, Mature) and some new faces (Siskel, Springfield, Strasberg - the "S contingent", apparently) jumped in the deep end of the Pool, too. But it's a veritable Photo Finish in both the Majors AND the Minors. Going into the final week of the season, The Wishman and The Single Guy are tied for First with 4 hits each. Lurking (*lurk*lurk*) in Second Place is rookie Major Leaguer, E-Brake, with 3 wee little hits. Suddenly, without warning, she makes her move, with the death of "Lone Ranger" Clayton Moore on December 28th. THEN, wham-bam-eggs-and-spam, she takes the Lead and THE GAME with the demise of ol' lady Sarah Knauss on December 30th. Talk about waiting until the last minute. Can it get any more exciting than THAT?! Yes it can!! Drunk-As-A-Skunk scoots ahead of Zombie Lotto the very last week of the year when he pulls the great Curtis Mayfield out of his prognosticating hat, scoring his 4th and winning hit. A very exciting season indeed.
The 1999 Cast of Players (20):
The Hits (28):
The Major Leagues:
W = The Wishman
T = Todd-Bone
SG = The Single Guy
CS = Center Square
E = E-Brake
The Minor Leagues:
TAN = Tanichka
SK = Skitzy
DB = Dear Bambi
SA = Sub-All
GP = Grim Peeper
ZL = Zombie Lotto
DP = Daisy Pushemup
DNK = Drunkasaskunk
EDT = Editer42
ZER = Zero
I = Infantry
PRO = Prosser
MP = Moon Pie
IMB = I.M. Baum
BEN = Dr. Benway
*******
The Results:
E-Brake wins the Pool with
5 Hits (Knauss, Mature, Moore, Springfield
and Strasberg).
Winner of the Minor Leagues:
Drunk-As-A-Skunk with 4 Hits
(Crisp, Denning, Mayfield and Mitchison).
Iron Eyes Cody (SG) 01/04
Naomi Mitchison (DNK) 01/11
Susan Strasberg (E) 01/21
Sarah Delany (T) 01/25
King Hussein (DP) 02/07
Gene Siskel (EDT) 02/20
Dusty Springfield (E) 03/02
Harry Blackmun (ZL) 03/03
Lord Denning (DNK) 03/06
Joe DiMaggio (W) 03/08
Boxcar Willie (CS) 04/12
Ellen Corby (SG) 04/14
Senor Wences (SG) 04/20
Buddy Rogers (I) 04/21
Gene Sarazen (W) 05/13
Mel Torme (W) 06/04
Clifton Fadiman (ZL) 06/20
Edward Dmytryk (ZL) 07/01
Victor Mature (E) 08/04
Allen Funt (W) 09/05
Catfish Hunter (CS) 09/09
Judith Exner (SG) 09/24
Gaby Casadesus (SA) 11/12
Quentin Crisp (DNK) 11/21
Hank Snow (IMB) 12/20
Curtis Mayfield (DNK) 12/26
Clayton Moore (E) 12/28
Sarah Knauss (E) 12/30

The 1998 Cast of Players (39):
The Hits (33):
The Major Leagues:
W = The Wishman
T = Todd-Bone
SG = The Single Guy
Wood = Woodeye
The Minor Leagues:
CS = Center Square
TAN = Tanichka
SK = Skitzy
DB = Dear Bambi
FM = Father McKenzie
P = Pullmyfinger
J = Jacz
H = Honalee
SA = Sub-All
EB = E-Brake
ZL = Zombie Lotto
AK = Akasha
MS = Mr. Smith
GP = Grim Peeper
Joe = Joemama
DP = Daisy Pushemup
TS = Tsuga
TRM = Trauma B
DNK = Drunkasaskunk
IMB = I. M. Baum
CAR = Carlito
SMI = Smiley
EDT = Editer42
GHL = The Grateful Ghoul
SKA = Skating
MBB = Mr. Baseball
WLF = Wolf
ZER = Zero
DIA = Diamond
AST = Astrolog
PS = Prince Sirki
BLK = Mr. Black
MP = Moon-Pie
HED = The Head
ELG = El Guapo
Sonny Bono (H) 01/05
Junior Wells (CS) 01/15
Carl Perkins (Wood) 01/19
Jack Lord (DNK) 01/21
Joseph Alioto (EB) 01/28
Carl Wilson (GHL) 02/06
Harry Caray (SG) 2/18
Grandpa Jones (Joe) 02/19
Henny Youngman (Wood) 02/24
Lloyd Bridges (FM) 03/10
Dr. Benjamin Spock (TAN) 03/16
Pol Pot (CS) 04/15
Linda McCartney (MP) 04/17
Terry Sanford (EB) 04/18
James Earl Ray (SG) 04/23
Alice Faye (MBB) 05/09
Marjory Stoneman Douglas (TAN) 5/13
Frank Sinatra (W) 05/14
Barry Goldwater (W) 05/29
Catherine Cookson (GHL) 06/11
Maureen O'Sullivan (MBB) 06/23
Roy Rogers (T) 07/06
E.G. Marshall (SA) 08/25
Lewis F. Powell (EDT) 08/25
Akira Kurosawa (W) 09/06
George Wallace (Wood) 09/16
Dan Quisenberry (IMB) 09/30
Gene Autry (T) 10/02
Frankie Yankovic (MS) 10/14
Weeb Ewbank (Wood) 11/18
Esther Rolle (SG) 11/18
Albert Gore, Sr. (W) 12/05
********
The Results:
The Single Guy wins the Pool with
4 Hits (Caray, Ray, Rolle and Young).
Winner of the Minor Leagues:
Center Square with 2 Hits
(Pot and Wells).

The 1997 Cast of Players (25):
The Hits (20):
The Major Leagues:
W = The Wishman
T = Todd-Bone
M = M vs. M
E = Eeejj
The Minor Leagues:
A = The Alliance
B = Mr. Bishop
Bam = Deer Bambi
EB = E-Brake
FRM = Father McKenzie
G = The Grateful Ghoul
H = The Hex
N = Nostradamus
R = Reaper
S = Mr. Smith
Tan = Tanichka
TF = Tree Frog
TRM = Trauma B
Wat = Watson
Wood = Woodeye
Pul = Pullmyfinger
D = Ducky
AT = Team Atwater
SK = Skitzy
SA = Sub-All
J = Jacz
Harry Helmsley (E) 01/04
Robert Irsay (T) 01/14
Paul Tsongas (E) 01/18
Col. Tom Parker (T) 01/21
Ben Hogan (E) 01/25
Herb Caen (M) 02/01
Deng Xiao Peng (W) 02/19
Jack Kent Cooke (M) 04/06
Edward Mulhare (EB) 05/24
Jacques Cousteau (E) 06/24
Brian Keith (Wood) 06/24
James Stewart (T) 07/02
Walter Brennan (W) 07/24
Mother Teresa (E) 09/05
Mobuto Sese Seko (Wat) 09/07
Burgess Meredith (E) 09/10
Red Skelton (Tan) 09/17
Abe Gibron (Wood) 09/23
James Michener (A) 10/16
Chris Farley (FRM) 12/18
********
The Results:
Eeejj wins the Pool with
6 Hits (Cousteau, Helmsley, Hogan,
Meredith, Mother Teresa, and Tsongas).
Winner of the Minor Leagues:
Woodeye with 2 Hits
(Gibron and Keith).
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