Hark - the 2024 Game is afoot!

In the Majors, TIME continues piling up the body bags with 4 hits in the early going! WARD is right behind with 3 smart choices. LUX is doing her best to keep up with two non-breathers, while MJ finally is on the board with his first. E is still waiting impatiently for her Hate List to kick in.

In the Minors, GRODY has grabbed the lead with his second corpse of note, while GO SEE GOD, HEM, MORRI and SPIN have one apiece. Who will get the next one?

In 2023 LUX won, again, with 7 fantastical hits! MJ came in second with, again, 5 hits while E snagged 3rd place with 4. WARD and FOTO did none too shabby with 3 hits apiece.

TIME won the Minors with 5 hits and joins us in the Majors for one season. SPIN and GRIM each had 3 smackers and came in 2nd and 3rd, respectively.

KEY:

The Major Leaguers:

LUX = The Luxury Woman
  

MJ = MJ
  

E = E-Brake
  

WARD = Mr. 50s
  

TIME = Time's Up
  

The Minor Leaguers:

FOTO = Fotojrn

HEM = Captain Hemlock

GRODY = Mr. 80s

SPIN = Spinzo

HARV = The Stiffs

PALL = Vincent Pall

MORRI = Morrigan

H2CO = The Embalmer

EDIT = Editer 43

FIRE = Fireball

RARA = RaRaRachel

CHECK = Check, Please

GONE = GetGone

GSG = Go See God

NICK = Necro Nick

Aaron Rodgers (Scumbag NFL QB) - FIRE
Abdullah the Butcher (Wrassler) - TIME
Akihito (Ex-Japan Emperor) - MJ
Al Jaffee (Cartoonist) - H2CO
Alan Alda (Actor) - FIRE
Alan Greenspan (Economist) - LUX
Alberto Fujimori (Peruvian Dictator) - MJ
Alice Cooper (Godfather of Shock Rock) - GONE
Andrew Tate (Vile Human Trafficker) - E
Andy Taylor (Duran Duran Guitarist) - MJ
Angie Dickinson (Actress) - CHECK
Annabelle Gurwitch (Author) - WARD
Anthony Hopkins (Actor) - RARA
Anthony Kiedis (Musician) - RARA
Artie Lange (Trainwreck Comedian) - MJ
Ayatollah Ali Khamenei (Supreme Leader of Iran) - MJ

Bam Margera (Jackass Trainwreck) - E
Barbara Eden (Actress) - FOTO
Barbara Rush (Actress) - GRODY (03/31)
Barry Corbin (Actor) - GSG
Barry Switzer (NFL Coach) - H2CO
Berry Gordy (Motown) - EDIT
Bill Cosby (Vile Rapist) - E
Bill Hayes (Singer, Actor) - LUX (01/12)
Bill Maz Mazeroski (MLB) - HARV
Bob Cousy (NBA) - GSG
Bob Newhart (Comedy Legend) - MJ
Bobby Shantz (MLB) - NICK
Bonnie Bartlett (Actress) - NICK
Brandon Brown (Scumbag NASCAR Driver) - FIRE
Britney Spears (Trainwreck Singer) - MORRI
Bruce Willis (Actor) - LUX
Burton Gilliam (Actor) - H2CO
Buzz Aldrin (Astronaut) - RARA

Calvin Klein (Fashion Designer) - RARA
Cardinal McCarrick (Pervy Priest) - SPIN
Caren Marsh Doll (Actress) - TIME
Carl Yastrzemski (MLB Legend) - SPIN
Carol Davis (NFL Owner) - TIME
Celine Dion (Singer and Canadian icon) - LUX
Chevy Chase (Actor) - CHECK
Chuck Grassley (Old-ass Senator) - GSG
Claire Bloom (Actress) - SPIN
Cleo Laine (Singer/Actress) - CHECK
Clint Eastwood (Actor/Director) - PALL
Clint Hill (Author, JFK Secret Service) - WARD
Clive Barker (Author/Director) - PALL
Clive Davis (Music Producer) - CHECK

Dabney Coleman (Actor) - GSG
Daniel 6ix9ine Hernandez (Scumbag Rapper) - FIRE
Daniel Barenboim (Conductor/Pianist) - HEM
Dave Cobra Parker (MLB) - HARV
David Attenborough (Natural Historian) - LUX
Dawn Lyn (Actress) - WARD
Dennis Hastert (Vile Pedo) - E
Derek Chauvin (Vile Murderer) - HARV
Dick Cheney (Vile War Criminal) - E
Dick Van Dyke (Iconic Actor) - LUX
Dick Vitale (Sports Personality) - MJ
Dikembe Mutombo (NBA) - HEM
Doc Severinsen (Tonight Show Bandleader) - EDIT
Donald Trump (Scumbag Ex-Prez, Conman) - MJ
Dub Jones (NFL) - GONE

Earl Campbell (NFL HOF) - H2CO
Edie McClurg (Actress) - WARD
Edwin Meese (Iran-Contra AG) - FOTO
Elijah Blue Allman (Trainwreck Musician) - CHECK
Elliot Gould (Actor) - H2CO
Elroy Face (MLB) - HARV
Estelle Parsons (Actress) - GRODY
Ethel Kennedy (Kennedy) - E
Eva Marie Saint (Actress) - LUX

Frank Caprio (TV Judge) - FOTO

Garrett Morris (SNL Legend) - GRODY
Gary Glitter (Vile Abuser) - E
Gene Hackman (Actor) - LUX
Gene Kranz (NASA Vest Wearer) - EDIT
Gene Shalit (Walking Mustache, Movie Reviewer) - LUX
George RR Martin (Author) - RARA
George Soros (Scumbag) - GSG
Ghislaine Maxwell (Vile Abuser) - E
Glynis Johns (Actress) - LUX (01/04)

Hal Linden (Actor) - PALL
Harold Bray (USS Indianapolis) - TIME
Harrison Ford (Better Actor Than Pilot) - PALL
Harrison Ruffin Tyler (Presidential Scion) - SPIN
Harvey Weinstein (Vile Rapist) - E

Ian McDormand (Actor) - H2CO
Imelda Marcos (Shoe Collector) - EDIT
Iris Apfel (Fashion Icon) - TIME (03/01)
Iris Cummings (1936 Olympian) - HARV
Irmgard Furchner (Nazi) - TIME

Jack Hanna (Vile Big Cat Abuser) - E
Jack Nicholson (Actor) - GSG
Jackie Gayda (WWE) - HARV
Jair Bolsonaro (Vile Ex-Prez Of Brazil) - E
Jake The Snake Roberts (Wrassler) - MJ
James Earl Jones (Iconic Actor) - MJ
James Watson (Double Helix Guy) - EDIT
Jamie Farr (Actor) - LUX
Jane Goodall (Ape Expert) - H2CO
Janis Paige (Actress) - LUX
Jared Fogle (Vile Pedo) - E
Jaye P. Morgan (Gong Show Flasher) - SPIN
Jean-Marie Le Pen (French Neo-Nazi) - GONE
Jeanette Lee (Pool Player Icon) - MJ
Jeff Bridges (The Dude) - PALL
Jefferson Beauregarde Sessions (Racist Ex-AG) - E
Jeffrey Jones (Vile Abuser) - E
Jennifer Wexton (Congressperson) - HEM
Jerry Jones (Scumbag NFL Owner) - FIRE
Jerry The King Lawler (Wrassler) - GONE
Jim Lovell (Astronaut) - GONE
Jim Otto (Football player) - TIME
Jimmy Carter (Ex-President) - LUX
Joan Ganz Cooney (Sesame Street Co-Creator) - GRODY
Joanne Woodward (Actress) - MJ
Joe Biden (POTUS) - MORRI
Joe Doering (Wrassler) - WARD
Joe Schmidt (NFL) - GONE
John Ashton (Guitarist) - GONE
Joni Mitchell (Folk Singer) - FIRE
Jonnie Irwin (British Presenter) - TIME (02/02)
Joseph Joe Exotic Maldonado-Passage (Scumbag Zookeeper) - FIRE
Joyce DeWitt (Actress) - PALL
Joyce Randolph (Actress) - TIME (01/13)
June Lockhart (Actress) - WARD

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (Basketball Legend) - WARD
Karl Rove (Vile War Criminal) - E
Kate Middleton (Princess of Wales) - NICK
Katherine Jackson (Jackson Family Matriarch) - SPIN
Keith Richards (Rolling Stone) - FOTO
Kim Jong-Un (Fearless Leader) - E
Kim Novak (Hollywood Siren) - SPIN
King Albert ll of Belgium (King) - GONE
King Charles (King of UK) - NICK
Kris Kristofferson (Musical Genius) - LUX
Kyrie Irving (Scumbag NBA Player) - FIRE

Larry Merchant (Sportswriter) - TIME
Larry Nasser (Vile Abuser) - EDIT
Larry Pressler (Politician) - MORRI
Lee Corso (ESPN) - MORRI
Lee Grant (Actress) - WARD
Lee Roy Jordan (NFL) - TIME
Leontyne Price (Opera Singer) - EDIT
Linda Nolan (Singer) - TIME
Linda Ronstadt (Singer) - FOTO
Liza Minelli (Singer) - LUX
Lou Carnesecca (College Basketball Coach) - TIME
Lou Conter (USS Arizona) - TIME (04/01)
Louis Farrakhan (Nation of Islam Leader/Bigot) - FOTO
Luis Aparicio (MLB) - HARV

M. Emmet Walsh (Actor) - WARD (03/19)
Magic Johnson (NBA) - GRODY
Marion Ross (Actress) - LUX
Marla Gibbs (Actress) - LUX
Marlo Thomas (Actress) - GSG
Marlyne Barrett (Actress) - MORRI
Martha Firestone Ford (NFL Owner) - EDIT
Marv Levy (NFL Coach) - HEM
Mel Brooks (Comedy Legend) - WARD
Michael Flatley (Lord of the Dance) - WARD
Michael Hogan (Actor, Battlestar Galactica) - MORRI
Michael J Fox (Actor) - NICK
Michael Tilson Thomas (Conductor) - MJ
Michael York (Actor) - MJ
Mike Stoller (Songwriters HOF) - NICK
Mitch McConnell (Vile Politico) - E

Narendra Modi (Scumbag PM of India) - FIRE
Neil Diamond (Legendary Singer) - H2CO
Nick Hogan (Trainwreck Reality TV) - HARV
Noam Chomsky (Linguist/Political Columnist) - HEM
Norman Jewison (Director) - GRODY (01/20)

Ozzy Osbourne (Singer/Prince of Darkness) - PALL

Patricia Routledge (Actress, Hyacinth Boo-KAY) - FIRE
Paul Dooley (Actor) - NICK
Paul Hogan (Actor, Crocodile Dundee) - RARA
Peggy Webber (Actress) - WARD
Pete McCloskey (Gadfly GOP Congressman) - NICK
Pete Wilson (Ex-CA Gov) - NICK
Peter Angelos (Baseball Owner) - MJ (03/23)
Peter Marshall (Gameshow Host) - WARD
Peter Yarrow (Music Icon) - FOTO
Phil Collins (Singer) - WARD
Phil Donahue (Talk Show Host) - RARA
Phyllis Dalton (Costume Designer) - GRODY
Polly Holiday (Actress) - HEM
Pope Benedict XVI (Ex-Da Pope) - GSG
Pope Francis (Da Pope) - GONE
Priscilla Pointer (Actress) - GRODY
Pritchard Colon (Boxer) - HARV
Prunella Scales (Actress) - CHECK

Rachel Ames (Actress) - GONE
Rachel Robinson (Civil Rights Activist) - TIME
Randy Travis (Country Singer) - LUX
Ray Anthony (Bandleader) - TIME
Rebecca Schull (Actress) - LUX
Richard O"Brien (Rocky Horror Genius) - MORRI
Richard Sherman (Mary Poppins songwriter) - EDIT
Rita Moreno (Actress) - PALL
Robert Duvall (Actor) - CHECK
Robert Wagner (Actor, Murder Suspect) - CHECK
Roberta Flack (Singer) - MJ
Roger Corman (Filmmaker) - EDIT
Roger Staubach (NFL HOF) - H2CO
Ronnie Milsap (Country Musician) - HEM
Rupert Murdoch (Hatemonger) - E
Ruth Buzzi (Comic Icon) - WARD
Ruth Westheimer (Sex Doctor) - GSG
Ryne Sandberg (MLB HOF) - NICK

Saleh al-Arouri (Hamas Terrorist) - MORRI (01/02)
Sam Neill (Actor) - WARD
Sandy Koufax (MLB Legend) - FOTO
Seiji Ozawa (Conductor) - GSG (02/06)
Seth Shifty Shellshock Binzer (Trainwreck Singer) - HARV
Shannen Doherty (Trainwreck Actress) - MJ
Shelley Long (Actress) - GRODY
Sid Krofft (Puppeteer) - SPIN
Sister Jean Schmidt (Basketball Booster) - TIME
Sonny Rollins (Jazzman) - MJ
Sophia Loren (Giver of Famous Side-Eye) - SPIN
Stacy Wakefield (Philanthropist) - SPIN (02/28)
Stanley Baxter (British Comedian) - CHECK
Stephen King (Storyteller) - PALL
Steve Bannon (Vile Strategist) - E
Steve Gleason (NFL) - TIME
Steve Mongo McMichael (Wrassler) - WARD

Tatum O'Neal (Trainwreck Actress) - CHECK
Teri Garr (Actress) - MJ
Tippi Hedren (Actress) - FOTO
Toby Keith (Country Music Icon) - WARD (02/05)
Tom Brokaw (Broadcaster) - WARD
Tom Lehrer (Musician) - FOTO
Tony LaRussa (MLB Manager) - MORRI

Val Kilmer (Actor) - MJ
Vera Miles (Actress) - E
Vince Neil (Musician) - RARA
Virgil (Wrassler) - WARD (02/28)
Virginia Halas McCaskey (NFL Owner) - TIME

Warren Buffet (US Mogul) - RARA
Whitey Herzog (MLB Manager) - HEM (04/15)
William Daniels (Actor) - TIME
William Shatner (Hammy Actor) - PALL
William The Refrigerator Perry (NFL Player) - HEM
Willie Mays (MLB HOF) - H2CO
Willie Nelson (Country Music Icon) - LUX
Wink Martindale (Gameshow Host) - RARA
Woody Woodbury (Comedian) - GRODY

Yahya Sinwar (Hamas Terrorist) - MORRI
Yoko Ono (Alleged Singer) - HEM

CHECK OUT LAST YEAR'S MASTER LIST AND FINAL STANDINGS

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